Paintball
by YellowRocksMySocks
Summary: When the Avengers are fighting, Beth gets creative in order to break it up.


**Sorry for not posting in a while. Blame school and lack of inspiration. Hope you enjoy and please send ideas my way! **

"WHAT THE HECK?" "HOW DARE YOU!" "ARGGGGG!" is all I hear from downstairs in the kitchen. It seems like EVERYTHING happens in the kitchen with these people. When the enraged screaming doesn't stop, I decide to check it out, since I couldn't concentrate on my French adverbs with all the noise. I turn the corner and witness an interesting scene.

Steve and Thor are wrestling on the ground. Clint and Natasha are arguing, with weapons locked and loaded. Tony and Bruce are yelling in each other's faces, with Bruce stabbing Tony in the arc reactor.

I decide any amount of screaming won't get the job done. I jump onto Thor's back, trying to break up the fight. He throws me off like a bag of potatoes and I hit the ground with a thud. He doesn't even notice.

"Jerk." I mutter and rub my hip. I turn to Bruce and Tony, and try to get between them. They continue yelling, as if I don't exist. I look at Clint and Natasha, and decide that it's against my better judgment to get between two master assassins with their weapons raised. I turn to the hall closet, and in it I find an air horn. Strange, but practical. I press the trigger.

"What the heck Beth?" Tony angrily asks me, after everybody jumped out of their skin.

"What are you doing?" Thor asks with his deep, scary god voice.

"I might ask the same to you guys! I'm upstairs, trying to conjugate French verbs, when I hear fighting. I come downstairs to see a brawl between Steve and Thor, a screaming match between Tony and Bruce, and Clint and Natasha about to blow each other's brains out. What on earth is going on around here?" I ask.

They all shift uncomfortably. "Well, I'm waiting..." I say, crossing my arms and tapping my foot.

"Um, someone forgot to buy coffee. I blamed Tony, Bruce yelled at me for blaming him, Thor freaked out because he thought Bruce would transform, Clint yelled at Thor for trying to fight me, and Natasha yelled at Clint for getting himself into it." Steve explains, digging a rut in the floor with his toe.

I can actually feel my eye twitch. "Really? Are you guys serious? An all-out war started because there was no coffee? Do you understand how absurd that is?" I ask, rubbing my face with my hands. "Look, I know that we have been cooped up in here for a couple days now with nothing to do, but for goodness sakes get a grip!"

Everybody mumbles some variation of sorry. I thought pops into my head. "Hey! I have an idea. Be right back!" I say as I run out the door, keys in hand.

"I used my S.H.I.E.L.D. credit card, so don't blow a gasket. I figured instead of really fighting, we could just shoot each other with paintball guns." I explain as I show everyone the arsenal of paintball supplies I bought.

"What is this paintball?" Thor asks.

"Basically you shoot each other with little paint capsules instead of bullets. It's really fun!" I explain. We could set up little obstacles and hiding spots with furniture and cover the floors and walls with painter's tarp I found upstairs. Whaddya say?" I ask.

"I'm in!" Steve says.

"Same with me, Beth." Bruce adds.

"I would like to participate." Thor comments.

"It wouldn't be the same without me..." Tony says, and we all roll our eyes as the rest of the gang joins in.

"Okay. I'm team captain since it was my idea. I get Steve and Natasha, and the rest of y'all are against us since you have more inexperienced people. No offense." I say

"None taken." Bruce and Thor replied.

"Not fair! You have a Captain in your group!" Tony whines.

"You have more people." I retort.

"Fine." Tony allows, and with that everyone begins to set up our furniture into a battle zone.

* * *

After about half an hour, our arena was complete. There were random barricades of tables and chairs, and larger pieces of furniture were used to create home bases. Painter's tarp covered every square inch of the arena. It was beautiful.

"Rules: You have to stay in the arena at all times except for bathroom breaks. No head shots. If you shoot someone in the head, you have to give your desserts to them for a week. Wear your protective gear at all times. I don't care if you physically can't get hurt; wear your helmet like the rest of us. No going rogue. Stick with your team or else you will be branded as a jerk wad. Tony, no running off and putting on your suit, or I will have a free pass to shoot you without a helmet. And lastly, let's kick some butt!" I finish and cock my gun. "You have a minute to get to your home bases and formulate game plans." I instruct and run away with Steve and Natasha trailing at my heels.

"Steve, what's the plan?" I ask after we have hid behind the couches.

Steve's face morphs into his intense captain-of-the-army leading face. "Alright. Beth, moves up the middle with Natasha and me flanking you. We move separately from obstacle to obstacle until we can meet in the table structure in the center. From there, we ambush. Ready?" he asks and salutes. Natasha and I salute back and we all stash more ammo into our pockets.

* * *

The battle went on for about two hours. It was great! Steve, Clint and Natasha were naturals of course, but I was surprised at how well Bruce did and how into it he got. My team ended up winning, but let's be real, there was no contest. Unfortunately now, I was in the bathroom trying to get paint out of Thor's amazing hair, with everybody else crowding in as well. I was seated on the toilet with Thor in the bathtub wearing a set of swim trunks I had found in his closet. Tony-furnished, of course. There were so many different colors and clumps you could hardly see the blonde peeking through.

"Thor? How did you get so covered? And why only your hair?" I asked and added another glob of shampoo.

"Natasha took a bucket and dumped it on me from a perch on an upturned couch. Before I could escape, the capsules exploded." he said in a haunted voice. Natasha smirked and Steve laughed out loud.

"Interesting." I comment, wrestling a snarl with a comb. "This could take forever. And I don't want to ruin your godly hair. How about I apply a ton of shampoo and you let it sit with a shower cap on?" I ask.

"What is a shower cap?" Thor asked.

"Oh, right. It's-"

"An extremely fashionable bathing hat." Tony finished. I glared at him.

"Then I shall wear it." Thor says. I apply a last squirt of shampoo and rub it around, then stretch the cap over his head.

Thor stands up and examines himself in the mirror. "I enjoy this attire. I am impressed with Midguardian fashion."

We all try not to laugh as Clint snaps a picture on his phone.


End file.
